As I lie in the darkness at the cusp of a new dawn, begrudgingly fighting to stay awake, a question makes its way into my stream of ever fading consciousness. “What is the meaning of life?”, it asks.
In the absurdity of conversing with a thought, I humor it with a reply.”It is not for us to know,” I say. Then, seemingly pausing for a while to gather it’s thoughts (which it cannot do, for what thought can gather itself), I felt a reply:
“Then what is the meaning of your life?”
Thinking deeply, I pretend that my life mattered in the bigger picture.
“I desire to inch humanity forward. My ultimate desire is to contribute to the better of our race, no matter how little or how large.”
The thought then puts forward a reply, “At what point do desires define meaning? At what point do our dreams become who we are?”
Lost in thought, I let the warm comfort of my covers take a hold of me as I began my travels into Oneiros’ realms.
A closer look.
Surely you have heard of the phrase “The jack of all trades, a master of none”. It bears quite a negative connotation. When I was a child, I wanted to do everything. My mother all too kindly repeats the phrase. In reply, I would scoff at her and say that I intend to be a master of all.
Of course, that’s all impossible. I didn’t know it then. And so it didn’t stop me from trying. And so now I sit here, a million and one interests and skills and knowledge, all mediocre, and none mastered. It frustrates me. In all the things that I have tried, I have yet to excel in at the very least one.
Perhaps it’s the company I keep? Often I see that a group of similar interests pushes each other into mastery. None of my inner circle of friends, however dear they are to me, really share my interests let alone my interests in being interested in everything. Perhaps I am just unlucky having never met people who do?
Or perhaps I am merely shifting blame and everything is due to me and my inability to push past mediocrity and excel into mastery.
I wish I knew. It’s frustrates me greatly to the point that I am ready to concede to the age old adage.
Then again, it may not be so bad. After all, the phrase used to have a more positive connotation as it goes,
“The jack of all trades, a master of none.
certainly better than a master of one.”
Anxiety is a powerful opponent that eats its way into thoughts, consuming one’s will. But see, I have finally figured it out. It is not the fear of the event that cripples. It is fear of the unknown, fear of the uncertainty of action, fear of fog that envelopes foresight. It ultimately stems from the knowledge that you do not know everything.
I now know that I do not know and that I do not need to know. Que sera sera.
There is a certain collective consciousness that draws my ire and it is people’s persistence in urging a particular politician to participate in the upcoming presidential elections. Who better to run for president than the person who openly admits to operating outside the law? Who better to head the process of law than a man who does not believe in due process? Who better to champion the rights of the people than a man who does not respect human rights? Who better to represent the constitution than a man who does not respect it?
Do you not appreciate the irony in all of these?
Do you not fear the consequences of electing such a man?